Pretty soon, it’s going to be 98 Degrees, and everyone is going to want to be Spiced, Lit, and Nsync, out on the beaches, or for parties or cookouts. They might want to turn Boyz II Men, or hit the clubs on the Backstreets near S Club 7. Don’t Blink182 though, because summer will be here before you can get around to Smashing Pumpkins or growing Nine Inch Nails.

Yes, you read that right, I could probably have fit more references in there, but that seemed lengthy enough as is, so let’s move on, yeah? Each year the fitness world gains a multitude of additional members, and ImgurFit is typically no exception. People range from all sorts of shapes and sizes, heights, and experience levels, and the general idea and concept of the page is to aid and educate people, into creating healthy lifestyles that they can follow and balance, hopefully for the rest of their lives. That being said, there’s always a few basic things that bear repeating.

No, eating Red Hot Chili Peppers will not help you lose weight. HUZZAH! I managed to squeeze another one in! Eating capsaicin, drinking straight lemon juice, drinking green tea, cleanses, detoxes, foot pads (oh man, anyone remember the onions on the feet thing?), insane crash dieting, as well as people like Dr Oz, the Food Babe, Keely the Banana Girl (edit: apparently its “FreeLee” the banana girl. Whatever, it still sounds like porn. Moving on.), and others have all stomped their way onto the scene trying to peddle their often insane wares. So let’s tackle some of the stuff I’ve mentioned, in the hopes of getting a few things cleared up.

 

Magical Items of Magicky Magickness, or alternatively “Everybody Poops! Though some people who follow these may poop WAY HOLY SHITDAMN MORE than others”

FreeLee, Oz, and Food Babe, (among others) all make their livings pushing a certain brand of healthy suggestion. Dr Oz has a tendency to push things for their “amazing, almost magical properties” (read it like an infomercial, and it makes more sense) including things like Acai, and his most recent one, Garcinia Cambogia HCA Extract, which Oz calls “The Holy Grail of Weight Loss.” The studies that tested it’s effectiveness however, found that it typically only nets an additional 2 lbs of weight loss when compared against a placebo. Does that mean it works? Yes, it would appear to have some effect, but 2 lbs doesn’t warrant calling it the Holy Grail. Garcinia also tends to come with side effects, which are often mild, but still can be present none the less. It can give the user dry mouth, headaches, dizziness, stomach nausea, and diarrhea, as well as “interact poorly” with allergy medications, diabetes medications, iron supplements, pain meds, psychiatric meds, cholesterol meds, blood thinners, as well as advisement to avoid using if you have kidney or liver problems, or have contracted the pregnancy. FreeLee on the other hand, suggests eating a lot of raw food, and fruits. Her dietary advice includes, but isn’t limited to, eating 6 “large mangoes” for lunch, as well as consuming up to 30 bananas a day. Now, fruit isn’t bad for you, but if you’re concerned about an overall abundance of carbs, or potentially shitting yourself for most of the day, then this probably isn’t a great option either. The entire day’s breakdown looks like this:

“DAY 1:

Before breakfast exercise:
❥ 30mins – 1hr easy bike ride/power walk/jog low to moderate intensity.

Breakfast:

Creamy RT4 Milkshake (no milk):

❥ 7+ banana smoothie with lots of water

❥ 700 mls of water

❥ 800mls of coconut water

❥ a few TBS of coconut sugar and vanilla stevia drops.

Lunch:

A mono meal of your favourite fruit, maybe 6 or more big mangoes

Snack:

As much fresh fruit as desired.

Dinner:

A bag of organic spuds cut into chip form and baked till crispy in the oven with low sodium sweet chilli sauce and wrapped in lettuce leaves. It may sound plain but it is very tasty, healthy and slimming.”

Now, I am not a registered dietician, nor a nutritionist, but this entire process seems like a potentially awful idea, and I’m struggling to see how it might be sustainable for anyone who doesn’t spend 3/4 of their day sitting on a couch, or in a chair, within a 30 foot sprint of a toilet. So, let’s move on, as I’m tired of talking about poop. (edit: Skipping Food Babe for sake of post length)

 

Metabolism (aka My body is a wonderland, just kidding John Mayer please stop sitting in a car outside my house):

Next up we have things like lemon ice water, or lemon juice water, or adding cayenne pepper to all your food, or following certain “jump start” diets to increase your metabolic rate. Some of which, when Googled, come from Dr Oz! AGAIN! Sonofabitch I cannot get away from this madman. This is an excerpt from his page, “you may also turn the tide on chronic health problems including type 2 diabetes, asthma, joint pain, digestive problems, autoimmune disease, headaches, brain fog, allergies, acne, eczema and even sexual dysfunction… You know when your computer freezes up? What do you do? You reboot. Well, the 10-Day Detox can do the same thing for your metabolism – by following my diet and lifestyle practices, we can reset your metabolism to factory settings. You can lose weight without going hungry, and possibly even clear up a whole list of health symptoms. And all it takes is 10 days.” This is fundamentally not how your metabolism works, and most of these programs owe their success to the fact that most people that start them are coming from the holy land of Coca Cola and Pizza. By eliminating most of these food and volume issues from their diets, they see success, which they falsely attribute to the product at hand. The other issue is that SOME of these items, like digestive issues, headaches, brain fog, etc, can be adjusted by changing what you eat as a whole, in general. It’s not specifically attributed to a “detox” so much as it is, “you can shit now because you’re not eating 3 lbs of cheese every day any more.” I mean, cheese is fucking delicious, but let’s have some restraint people, please? Now, other websites suggest options like “ramping up your intensity level” or “lift more weights, THEN do cardio after” which aren’t inherently bad ideas, and they DO help increase your metabolism, but the problem in this case lies in the wording. You can’t jump start your metabolism like a car, it changes in increments over a period of time. Some bodybuilders spend years (yes, years) slowly adapting their metabolism to a point where (in one’s case , who i know personally) they end up at a point where 4500 calories is a diet for someone who competes on stage at 220 lbs. Alternatively, you can accidentally do the opposite to your body. You can accidentally shift your metabolism, over a period of time, so that your body acclimates to you underfeeding it, at least to a certain degree, which also can take months, or years to recover from.

 

Detoxification! (aka that stuff that your liver and kidneys do when they are functioning properly) 

de·tox
informal
noun
plural noun: detoxes
ˈdētäks/
  1. 1.
    a process or period of time in which one abstains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances; detoxification.
    “he ended up in detox for three months”

Now, I’m not a rocket surgery or a brain scientist either, hell I’m not even a regular sorcerientist or whatever they do with their crazy magic machines, but the standard definition for detox sort of implies “going through withdrawl from addictive stubstances” and not so much what Dr Oz, or Oprah (for all her many glorious contributions to the world, as well as “BEES!” https://i.imgur.com/R1raYh.jpg ) would have you believe. Detoxes, as far as the dietary word is concerned, means “using dietary means (or just lack of food in general) to clean the blood, promote liver stimulation to drive toxins from the  body, and help the intestines digest more efficiently. Folks, I say this with the utmost care, but if any one of these systems within your body needs that to happen, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS HOLY, MY ANUS IS BLEE- err, wait… “PLEASE, go to a doctor.” Going through a detox diet or extended fasting period is not going to fix a glaring issue with the organs that handle most of the poisons that exist in your body. In addition to that, one gem from the MayoClinic website provides this, “some detox diets advocate using herbs and other supplements along with colon cleansing (enemas) to empty the intestines.” Hope you like stuff getting put in your butt, guys! Man, I seriously cannot get away from poop on this subject, can I?

 

THINGS TO DO, THINGS NOT TO DO, GENERAL LIFE ADVICE: 

So, you’ve decided not to detox, enema, magic pill, or make an effort to consume 4 metric tonnes of mangoes and bananas in the next 6 months, what can you do instead? For starters, you can find something active that you enjoy. Lifting weights, grunting, living in fear of sharting in the squat rack, are not everyone’s pride and joy, and not everyone in the world thinks that there’s no reason to be alive if you cant do deadlift. Stars may have lived and died to produce the iron that we lift, but hey, not everyone is in to that. Some just enjoy walking, hiking, swimming, climbing (Hi Sean!) , running, or even playing sports, silk yoga, pole dancing, gymnastics, fighting, grappling, and an entire host of other stuff that I’m frankly not bright enough to think of. So get out there, say “Hi!” to Super Nintendo Chalmers, and get learnding! Then you have the diet alterations, which can be things like IIFYM, or other certain options and restrictions based on your moral values, medical needs, or other factors. Sleep, and stress are another set of factors, which a lot of people simply may not be aware of. You might sleep like crap, but be unaware of it for years, and it may be a huge hindrance to your progress. Do what you can, and even just dick around on the internet, or even our own blog page, and you might find answers that surprise you. We all have a journey to experience guys, so lets rock out with our cocks out, jam out with our clams out, and make life fucking magical.

 

Here’s some handy dandy reading material, if you do so fancy ^_^

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/detox-diets/faq-20058040

http://www.iifym.com/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/23/dr-oz-products_n_7120654.html

http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/17/health/senate-grills-dr-oz/

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/dec/05/detox-myth-health-diet-science-ignorance

https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-detox-scam-how-to-spot-it-and-how-to-avoid-it/

https://imfitcast.wordpress.com/

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-blog/weight-management/bgp-20056166

http://www.livescience.com/39243-garcinia-cambogia-supplement-facts.html

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